Climbing Out of the Pit (Part 2)

By: Mary Southerland / Girlfriendsingod


Today's Truth

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1 (NIV)

Friend To Friend

At some point in life, we all will find ourselves in some kind of pit, the darkness settling around us like a paralyzing blanket of hopelessness. That deep, dark pit may have many names, but easily becomes a prison from which escape seems impossible. The journey out of that pit is a process of steps uniquely planned by your Father.

Step One: Wait for God.

Step Two: Cry out for help.

Many times, those who are imprisoned by darkness and depression look for help in the wrong places. Let me share with you some of the right places to find help.

Turn to God

In Psalm 40:1 "cry" literally means "to summon." What an amazing thought! The God of the universe, the One who created the world and flung the stars into space, waits and listens for the voice of His children. When they cry out, He comes to them just like a mother runs to her sick child, calling through the darkness of night. God comes to us in many ways.

· Reading His Word Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

I lived in the book of Psalms during the two darkest years of my depression. A friend had given me an instrumental tape of hymns. Every day, I would plug in that tape, take the phone off of the hook and read psalm after psalm. I found myself in the words that I read and took great comfort in the fact that God was totally aware of everything that I was feeling.

· Talking with Him Peter 3:12 "For the Lord is watching his children, listening to their prayers."

The darkness called forth the most childlike prayer of my life. Day after day, night after night, I poured out the questions I had always been afraid to ask, my deepest fears and greatest pain. It was the most honest and powerful prayer of my life. I began to fall in love with the One who created me in my mother's womb and set me apart for Himself. When you spend time with Him, you will love Him and learn to know the sound of His voice above all others.

Turn to doctors and counselors

Proverbs 15: 22 "Plans go wrong with too few counselors; many counselors bring success."

Many people say that depression is only a spiritual problem and that there are only spiritual solutions. I disagree.

There was a terrible storm. The little girl was so frightened that she cried out in fear. Her daddy came running, gathered her up in his arms and held her tightly. He quietly explained that she had nothing to fear because God would take care of her. The little girl thought for a moment and then replied, "I know God will take care of me and love me, but right now, Daddy, I want someone with skin on!"

We often need "someone with skin on" to help us climb out of that pit. One of those persons may be a physician. I encourage anyone experiencing depression to get a physical as soon as possible. Depression is often a physical problem and may respond to medication. In my case, the doctor prescribed medication that corrected a chemical imbalance he found. The medication did not eliminate the depression. It simply enabled me to have the strength and energy to deal with the issues that had led me to the pit.

Good nutrition and regular exercise are also powerful tools in dealing with the darkness. God has wonderfully created the human body to respond to healthy life habits.

Christian counseling is another valuable weapon in the battle against depression. God gave counselors their gifts to use for Him in ministry. He must have known that we would need them and the gift of healing they bring when balancing the psychological world with the healing power of a living God. Somewhere in your world, God has stationed servants who are equipped and ready to help you.

Turn to your support team

Isaiah 42:3 "He will not break the bruised reed, nor quench the dimly burning flame. He will encourage the fainthearted, those tempted to despair."

A support team is essential for anyone in the pit of depression. My team carried me when I couldn't take another step and loved me when I was unlovable, encouraging me when I felt like giving up. I would still be in the darkness today if it weren't for my family, my church and my friends. God worked through them in my life. They could see the dangers I was too weak to see and loaned me their energy when mine was gone. They became a life line that kept me from drifting toward the brink of disaster. Has it affected their opinion of me? Absolutely! It has shown them that I am just like them - not a Superwoman - and has given them permission to face their own weaknesses. I know that some of you are thinking that there is absolutely no one who will sign up to be a member of your support team. If you will cry out to God and honestly seek help, He will bring your helpers.

Let's Pray

Father, I need Your help! I turn to You first. My heart cries out to You, asking for Your hand of deliverance and restoration to touch my life. Please lead me to those You have equipped and chosen to help me during this dark time. I don't see them, Lord, but I trust You to bring them. Thank You for what You are already doing in the midst of this pit!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

· Read one psalm every day.

· Pray, crying out for help from His hand, waiting on God and listening for His voice.

· Where do you usually go for help?

· What do the words "cry out to God" mean to you?

· What do you have to surrender, in order to cry out to Him?

More From the Girlfriends

For a long time, I let my pride keep me from asking for help. Fortunately, those who loved me didn't wait for me to ask. They simply jumped in when they saw a need - and found a way to meet that need. If you are struggling with depression or the darkness of a pit, share your pain with someone who loves you. Ask for help. In doing so, you are inviting God to work through those people to bring you out of the darkness, into the light. My story is much like yours and can be read in my book, Hope in the Midst of Depression. Would you like to work through a bible study that will help? Try Strength for the Storm, an E-Book bible study you can download and work through on your own, with a friend or in a small group.

For more help, visit Mary's website to find free resources on how to deal with depression as well as the MP3 download or CD, Coming Out of the Dark.

The Word of God is your most powerful weapon against the darkness. Get it into your life. Read, study and memorize Scripture and allow God's powerful truths to be a mental, emotional and spiritual hedge of protection. Need help? Check out Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey, as she begins 2010 with the series, "Aim at Nothing ... And You Will Hit It!" Learn how to set meaningful and powerful life goals.

You can also connect with Mary on FaceBook!

Climbing Out of the Pit (Part 1)

I thought you might enjoy this from Mary Southerland of Girlfriendsingod.com:

Today's Truth

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1 (NIV)

Friend To Friend

Children are wonderfully different! When our son, Jered, was nine months old, he began to pull up on every piece of furniture that would hold his stocky little frame. For weeks, he maneuvered his way around our home, until one day, he took his first step ... alone! It was a step of only inches but we celebrated as if he had run a marathon! Then there is our daughter, Danna, who crawled when she was five -months-old and before she could even sit up. We assumed she would be walking within a matter of weeks. Danna had a different plan. She never pulled up on a single piece of furniture. She never took a step, but one day, when she was ten months old, she simply stood up and trotted across the room. Jered and Danna both walk extremely well today as young adults but they both began with tiny steps and with a plan that was uniquely their own.

Nobody becomes depressed overnight. Nobody overcomes depression overnight. The journey out of the pit of depression is a process of steps uniquely planned by your Father. He is the Guide for your journey out of the darkness.

Step One: Wait for God.

 Psalm 40:1, David writes, "I waited patiently for the LORD." I had always thought of waiting as a passive and even wasteful experience. But while sitting at the bottom of the pit of clinical depression, I began to see that waiting is active and can be a powerful spiritual experience.

To wait means to accept the pit.

Picture yourself falling into a slimy pit. Your first reaction, like mine, would probably be to frantically claw and struggle, fighting your way out! When you have used up every ounce of energy, you stop struggling and sit down to rest, waiting for help because that is all you can do. You have no other options. When hard times come, we immediately begin to beg and bargain for rescue - for a way of escape. God loves us too much to waste our pain. It is a shallow love that always rescues easily. It is a depthless love that always rescues quickly. Sometimes our Father says wait. So be patient, accept your pit, and know that He is at work.

To wait means to admit that there is a problem.

We can be so proud and self-sufficient at times. Admitting that we are helpless and must wait on God is a last resort. In reality, we can learn to celebrate our helplessness. We can grow to the place of rejoicing in our weakness because our weakness and helplessness are an invitation for the power of God to take up residence and display itself in our life! Isaiah tells us that "He gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak" (Isaiah 50:29 NLT).

Instead of hiding or trying to rationalize the darkness away, we must be willing to admit that we are struggling with depression. Pride always hinders authenticity. Emotional health begins at the point of emotional integrity, when we can be truthful enough to say to ourselves and to others "I need help!" We cannot be right until we choose to be real.

To wait means to practice authenticity.

When I first began to battle depression, my husband was the pastor/teacher of a large, very visible and fast growing church. Dan and I had a choice to make. We could choose to be transparent and real or we could attempt to hide my struggle. We chose transparency and began to share our pain with the team that God had assembled around us. We then took an even bigger risk by sharing my battle with depression with the entire church.

We quickly discovered that the sharing of the crisis lessened its grip on our lives. The response to our transparency and willingness to share our pain with those who had known great pain themselves was overwhelming! People began to pray. Cards, letters and Scripture verses came pouring through the mail. Women would show up at the front door with meals. At times, others came to clean my house, do my laundry and entertain my children. Deacons would station themselves at various places in the church building during any worship service that I attended. If I got "caught" in a difficult situation, all I had to do was turn and nod to them. They would come, take me by the arm and walk me to my car with a hug and instructions to go home, assuring me that they loved me and were praying for me.

We were created to share our burdens with each other. Isaiah 35:3-4 is a clear directive, "Strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those who are afraid, 'Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.'" We need each other because a shared load is a lighter load. Transparency brings healing and authenticity yields restoration.

To wait means to practice solitude.

In the pit, it is so dark that we cannot see. All we can do is wait, trust and rest. In the midst of my depression, I began to discover that darkness is a great place of solitude. Distractions are few. When the Light comes, it is easier to see and the silence makes His voice clear and strong.

Psalm 46:10 advises, "Be still and know that I am God." We cannot know God on the run. Solitude lets our souls catch up. In the jungles of Africa, a tourist who was taking a safari hired natives from a tribe to carry all of the necessary supplies. On the first day, they walked rapidly and went far. The tourist was excited because he wanted to get there quickly. On the second morning, the tourist woke early, ready to go, but the natives refused to move. They just sat and rested. When the tourist questioned them, he was told that they had gone too fast the first day. Now they were waiting for their souls to catch up.

Stress, hurry, and intense activity can cause us to lose our perspective, to disconnect from our true purpose in life. The busier we are, the more we need regular solitude. I love the Greek motto that says: "You will break the bow if you keep it always bent." I broke! One of the main reasons that I broke was that solitude had never been a part of my life. I was too busy being spiritual. I was too busy trying to earn God's love and approval and running from the past. I was too busy trying to be good enough.

During my two years in the pit of depression, I gave up every role of leadership in order to spend time in solitude, seeking God. It felt as if I were giving up my whole identity because so much of who I was had been built upon what I did. Many times, I walked to the front door of our church, stopped and had to turn away in panic. I just could not make myself go in. I felt like a total failure as a wife and mother but as I struggled with the guilt and self-condemnation of my frailty, the Father taught me an important truth that has revolutionized my life. He is more concerned with who I am than what I do! He loves me - warts and all! If I never do another thing in the Kingdom, He still loves me. His love for me is not affected by what I do or don't do. He simply loves me! That life-changing truth was born out of darkness - in solitude.

The first step out of the pit is to wait. While we wait we must admit there is a problem, accept the pit, practice transparency and embrace solitude.

Let's Pray

Father, I come to You - weak, tired and broken. I admit my great need for You, Lord, and choose to rest in You rather than struggle against You. By faith, I accept the darkness as an opportunity to wait at Your feet, listening for Your voice alone. Change me, Lord. Teach me Your ways. Strip away what is not of You and let stand what is.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn:

· Set aside 15 minutes every day this week to spend in solitude with God. Record your thoughts, prayers and needs. Be brutally honest and transparent as you write. Then spend a few moments celebrating the fact that His love covers it all.

· Why is it so hard to accept the dark times in life?

· What is keeping me from being transparent?

· Would my family and friends describe me as "authentic"?

· Am I afraid of solitude? Why?


More From The Girlfriends

Did you know that several studies identify January 24 as the day when more people are depressed than at any other time of the year? Family members and holiday guests have gone home and their visit was not what you had hoped it would be. Perhaps no one came and you were alone. The credit card bills from Christmas are starting to come in. You may have just lost your job and are facing a year of financial uncertainty. The pit of depression and darkness is filled with paralyzing fear and unanswered questions. Where do we turn? Who can deliver us from that pit? God can, my friend. I know. He delivered me.

For more help, visit my website to find free resources on how to deal with depression as well as the MP3 download or CD, Coming Out of the Dark or check out my book, Hope in the Midst of Depression.

The Word of God is your most powerful weapon against the darkness. Get it into your life. Read, study and memorize Scripture and allow God's powerful truths to be a mental, emotional and spiritual hedge of protection. Need help? Check out Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey, as she begins 2010 with the series, "Aim at Nothing ... And You Will Hit It!" Learn how to set meaningful and powerful life goals.

You can also connect with Mary on FaceBook!

Girlfriends in God

P.O. Box 725

Matthews, NC 28106

info@girlfriendsingod.com

www.girlfriendsingod.com